When You Feel...

When you feel people understand you, THEY ARE NOT
When you feel people can help you, ONLY ALLAH CAN
When you feel you need someone by your side, YOU HAVE NO ONE THERE
When you feel you are scared, PUSH THAT FEELING AWAY
When there is negative energy around you, BE POSITIVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

I never know when "this" will come to an end. I just want to live a NORMAL LIFE. Is my life now is ABNORMAL? Yes, it is.

I can't sleep while other people sleep. I can't let MY HUSBAND feels how PAINFUL I feel now. I can't feel my stomach is FULL whenever I eat. I can't tell people how I feel each time "this" happen otherwise people will say I am CRAZY. I feel helpless NOW. I have NO MORE TEARS. My heart is WOUNDED. It is hurt when you tell then people say IT IS RIDICULOUS.

I HOPE "THIS" WILL END SOMEDAY

P/S: Hasbunallah Wa Ni'mal Wakeel, Ni'mal Maula Wa Ni'man Naseer (Allah is enough for me, Allah is the best Helper of all)

"JIHAD"

Assalamualaikum wbt to my Muslim brothers and sisters,
Good day to my Non Muslim brothers and sisters,

Now I am in the phase of understanding "jihad" in reality...

Everyone will experience difficulties in life and yet how he or she is going to stay strong and stand still when he didnt understand the meaning of jihad

A simple story during the time of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W where the Prophet and his followers are being isolated by people of other religion for 3 years in a village.

One night, his follower went out in dark to pee. While he pee, he heard his pee dropped on something hard, without any food supplies left he felt hungry. He realised he pee on donkey's skin. Then he took the skin back home and boil it to soften the skin and cut into pieces and eat it. Even he was desperate to get food for himself, he didnt stop his jihad to stand and stay strong as Muslims

Same goes to me now...My hurt and pain to realise that my in law hate me and my husband's siblings have tortured me physically taught me to stay strong in this life...yes, "sorry" can be said easily but the effect they gave me when I feel traumatised after being thrown on the ground by their own hands and when my husband was being caught by them in order to separate us...until today, his family never feel happy seeing us happy and always interfere our marriage life...

I truly understand the meaning of jihad for my marriage and also with that sadness Allah (my beloved God) reward us with baby...In Shaa Allah I will be due in January next year...this love sign from Allah is also another reason why I
need to stay really really strong to face anything that comes in my life...

I hope and do hope that this life of mine will end with khusnul khatimah (good ending) In Shaa Allah if Allah's will

Jazakallahu khairan kathira dear Muslim brothers and sisters
Have A Nice Day Ahead to my Non Muslim brothers and sisters

CH0osE y0uR paTh, GOD wiLl DefiNiteLy GUidEs YoU

Assalamualaikum w.b.t to my Muslim friends,

Good Day Brother and Sisters,

We have a lot of offerings in life...Choose whatever path that you like BUT make sure u know the consequence even not MUCH

Sometimes things can be good for us as we think it is INSTEAD it is a bad thing for us which will affect us the whole life.

Same goes to me...I chose a path where all people will say it is WRONG!!! yeah totally WRONG they said...but one thing for sure in MY HEART deep in it, I chose that path because im afraid of being a SINNER not to say that im a no sinner...na na na nobody is perfect anyway

I am afraid of the punishment which I will get but I cant wait for the reward for what I've done...

MARRIAGE is the answer...no matter how it looks to others, I choose to proceed my life with being someone's wife...

and until today and til forever I will let My God, the only ONE, Allah, to guide me...In Shaa Allah

Baldwin Street, New Zealand

:)

Jazakallahu khairan kathira to my Muslim friends

Have A Nice Day Ahead to my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters

You Said White, I Said Black, You Said Awesome, I Said Not Awesome!!!

Assalamualaikum wbt to my Muslim brothers and sisters,

A Very Good Day to my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters,

In Marriage:

Misunderstanding always occur...It is the TRUTH...sometimes it is even worst when we try to make up the misunderstanding...

Wrongly interpreted any message being sent to you is another worst situation especially in a marriage...it is not easy to face this unless you stay silent as long as you want until you are in a stable condition

No one would want to end up like this right???

ANGER will result from those two situations as I stated above...Owh GOSH sometimes I even feel I'm being tortured~ Owh NO I hate that feeling yeah

Even in giving opinion, sometimes marriage couples often have different opinion from each other and each of us try to win...the best solution is a win win situation...For example:

Woman : I want to eat at NOODLE!!!

Man : Ok, Let's Go

Woman : This is my favourite food

Man : This is so not my taste, and the soup you eat taste like woody and soup full of herbs

Woman : I will never bring you here anymore since you dont like it

Man : I can come but not with this type of dry noodle which I ordered

Woman : The soup taste the same too...even you order the noodle soup, you will never like it...next time you dont have to accompany me to eat here yeah

Lesson here: Woman tries her best to keep her man away from things that he doesnt like and yet the man tries his best to pretend he will like something else being served at that restaurant without even realising his woman understands that he doesnt like that type of food to be eaten by him...huh sigh sigh sigh

One more important thing is LEARN TO EXPRESS AND AVOID KEEPING ALL FEELINGS JUST TO YOURSELF FOR THE REASON YOU DONT WANT TO HURT YOUR COUPLE...IN FACT, THE MORE YOU HIDE THE MORE YOU HURT YOUR COUPLE

the lesson which we need to learn here is marriage is a process to learn knowing each other...even until the last breath of yours you will never know your couple very well and the only one who knows him or her well is Allah The Almighty

That's all from me for tonight's post hehehe :) stay calm and happy as ever

Jazakallahu Khairan Kathira to my Muslim brothers and sisters

Have A Nice Day Ahead to my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters

What about that song?

Assalamualaikum wbt to my Muslim brothers and sisters

A very good day to my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters

Wow...it is a very heavy rainy day tonight...Well well well due to my inability to control my emotion because of the appointment this evening related to my final year project (the last step before I get my degree)...I CHOOSE to write a post here...and yet the post is closely related to the previous post

It is the story of how I found my one who is now my husband...I CHOOSE YOU is a song which suits our story...yes I choose him...I did choose him to be my life partner...How it begin?

There was a time last year definitely in November...1 year has passed where I thought I dont want to fall in love anymore...I am tired of falling in love anymore...and I cant stop myself from thinking I need someone in my life to be a companion someone who is willing to be with me and accept me the way I am...

And yes as what we can see in the lyric in the song where YOU COULD NOT COME TRUE, JUST LOVE'S ILLUSION...those are the words which came out from other people...however, I finally got through it and he is now my husband...not a love illusion...we didnt fall in love...how to explain? we just became friend and he said he want me to be his wife...I didnt accept that as simple as how we spell ABC...however, his title as someone's husband was not something that revolved in my mind at that time...I asked from Allah to show me the way and gave me hardships to continue with the marriage...

I am not perfect, I even did a lot of mistakes in the past...Mistakes which will hunt me until the end of my life...However, I am doing my best to prove my love to my husband once I became his wife...and the first day we met is the first day of my life being a wife to someone...

In contrary, I am under prepared when I became his wife...however, we finally got it alright coz I CHOOSE YOU...I love my husband with all my heart...and this is the memory which I will never erase and it will stay here as long as these words give life to thee

I am willing to leave everything for him...The best moment in my life since I became wife is the moment to stay by my husband's side in whatever circumstances...

If one day he asks to get married to another woman in life, all I need to do is never stop loving him and give more and more to Allah as I am His servant in this world and the world hereafter...

IRONICALLY:

Dear husband:
My whole heart, Will be yours forever, This is a beautiful start, To a lifelong love letter

LOVE SOMEONE LILLAHI TAALA (BECAUSE OF ALLAH) for Muslim brothers and sisters

LOVE SOMEONE BECAUSE OF GOD for Non-Muslim brothers and sisters

That's all for now,,,

Jazakallahu Khairan Kathira to my Muslim brothers and sisters

Have A Nice Day Ahead to my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters

A Song Which Tells My Love Story completely,,,

 "I Choose You" by SARA BAREILLES

Let the bough break, let it come down crashing

Let the sun fade out to a dark sky

I can't say I'd even notice it was absent

Cause I could live by the light in your eyes

I'll unfold before you

What I've strung together

The very first words

Of a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose you

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose you

I choose you

(Yeah)

There was a time when I would have believed them

If they told me you could not come true

Just love's illusion

But then you found me and everything changed

And I believe in something again

My whole heart

Will be yours forever

This is a beautiful start

To a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose you

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose you

I choose you

We are not perfect

We'll learn from our mistakes

And as long as it takes

I will prove my love to you

I am not scared of the elements

I am under-prepared, but I am willing

And even better

I get to be the other half of you

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose you

Yeah

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose you

I choose you

I choose you

Next post will tell the detail of it...

Of Final Year Project and Marriage Life!!!~

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

To My Muslim  Brothers and Sisters

Good Day

To My Non-Muslim Brothers and Sisters

Well well well it has been quite sometimes since I last wrote anything here (in this blog I mean)...

Life is sooo hectic as a final year degree student and also as a wife to a beloved husband...Even it is a polygamy type of marriage yet I am still act like a normal wife...wife is still a wife towards a husband doesn't matter you are first, second, third or the fourth wife yeah

Final Year Project:

This is the most important chapter in a degree student life...You need to write a thesis any topic which you deeply understand while doing a practical training in any company that you wish and got approved by the university for 21 weeks...owh that is quite challenging you know...well I am experiencing it now...that's why I can make that statement heheh....

Without strong support from my beloved husband, Phyruzal Mohd Rajali...I might not be able to stand still in this condition...Yeap his presence is like a chipsmore by my side but his attention towards me is sooooo undivided...he gave me full attention...well in marriage who did not slip their tongue when they communicate? we are human being learn to be perfect for each other as much as we can

The topic of my final year project? It should stay as a secret...But it is not as powerful as what I have in my thought before...but I believe Allah knows the best for us...I hope I will finish writing up my Final Year Project excellently and also become one of first class degree holders in year 2015 during my graduation day...not for any intention to boast to other instead to make myself proud and make my husband feel happy so do my beloved mama...they are waiting for that day to happen...:)

Polygamy (My marriage):

It is sweet though...Yes full of hardship but yet still too sweet for me...coz my husband is such a sweet guy...he has too much patience to stay in this path...I have to admit the first wife still cannot accept the fact that I exist by hubby's side at present...I am no one to cure her heart...I never dreamt of being a second wife either...but who knows? yes people will mock me and say bad things to me...But trust me...I never ask for this...But who am I to say NO to His fate???

Polygamy should strengthen the bond between ummah of Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h instead of creating more enemies in life...It is not the polygamy that is wrong...If you say it is wrong then it is a big sin since Allah S.W.T Himself allows polygamy...The one that is wrong is the people whose involve in this type of marriage...

It is not only the husband carries the role to harmonise this type of marriage but the wives also carry those roles...if the wives quarrel with each other, how on earth the husband will stay calm? hence, for those who is in the same situation as me...please please and please give full support to your husband...learn to accept the fact his love does not belong to you alone...If you are sooo greedy to have your husband only just for yourself, why you never ask to have Allah just for yourself??? Coz you have the answer for that I am sure...nothing in this world belong to us...not even a husband...

The media nowadays bring bad image related to polygamy and also goes to newspapers which only publish bad effects of this type of marriage...open your eyes people...see it yourself...if someone said your hubby is a sex maniac??? so what??? at least he get it through a halal way...women, you are not in my shoes and im not in your shoes either...so we shouldn't judge each other...

If the world know me, I would say "my marriage is never wrong" until the last breath of mine...and I am happy with this marriage...as I always said and I accept any tests and hardships which will happen now and then...In Shaa Allah coz the heaven is too sweet to be given to us without any tests from Allah...

Jazakallahu Khairan Kathira to my Muslim brothers and sisters

Have A Nice Day Ahead to my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters...

Wassalam